My Otherworldly Begetter

Though I am extremely white, my heritage might not be what it seems...

Everyone knows Bigfoot. The Bogeyman. The Abominable Snowman. Dentists. These myths and urban legends that haunted our childhood and still captivate the minds of thousands of believers to this day. Since this past August, a rough 65% of Americans admitted they believe in aliens! Don’t even get me started on the idea of “feral people” in our National Parks. That’s a whole other story.¹ Today, I want to reveal one thing about myself to those of you who keep up with me on here. I feel I haven’t been completely honest with you.

First, to begin to try and understand who I am, we must understand my dad. I personally don’t have many memories of him as he passed in 2009, but I have plenty of stories from those lucky enough to have known him. He was the man, the myth, the legend, and quite literally as evidence goes to show. He grew up in West Virginia. His dad’s side of the family is Welsh-Irish and Austrian. Very white, to say the least. I’m talking Pillsbury Dough Boy. But, recently, after talking with my sister, we’ve begun to believe he may not be human at all. And I’m not just talking about his snoring, though that itself is a noise no human should make or be subjected to.

As I said, my dad was born in West Virginia. To be more specific, he was born October 1st, 1964². He was a natural troublemaker and didn’t really clean up his act until he was an adult and had to. In his adult life he traveled for work and would be gone on business trips for weeks at a time. That’s a very brief history up until his death in 2009. Average life: rebel turned success. So, how does this imply something supernatural?

Meet Mothman — West Virginia’s native cryptid, circa 1966. Some believe him to be born from the ancient curse uttered by Shawnee Chief Cornstalk as he died at the hands of colonists. Others believe him to be alien, as his appearance in the area coincided with multiple UFO sightings. No matter the origin of Mothman, it’s eerie how both him and my dad were both “born” at the same time.

Mothman is said to follow tragedy. He was claimed to have been seen at multiple mass-casualty events in the Point Pleasant area of West Virginia. At one point, he apparently traveled all the way to Moscow, just before the 1999 Russian Apartment Bombings. There have been plenty of sightings in other countries, as well as across the United States. That is, until recently, he stopped showing up. Though, to be honest, if one had to be at every single disaster on this planet, they’d be busier than Santa Clause.

Now, let’s connect the dots. Originating in the same area within the span of a few years, my father and Mothman could almost be twins. Just as Mothman traveled the globe, my father followed on his “business trips.” Neither Mothman or my dad have been seen in recent years, nor have they been seen in the same room together. You see where I’m going with this? My dad also had an unexplainable obsession with UFOs, and when I say obsession, I mean he had a notebook with a checklist of alien invasion survival supplies and a library full of correlating nonsense.

Since discovering this horrific insight, my dad’s father and I have taken a trip to Point Pleasant’s very own Mothman museum and glorious statue. My sister and I plan on attending next year’s local Mothman festival, as well as getting matching Mothman tattoos in my father’s memory. Even in the small chance that he is not Mothman, it’s still a testament to his curiosity into the paranormal and his great sense of humor. I’m sure if he heard our theory, he’d believe it himself.

Now, for who that makes me? I have no idea. I just hope my life doesn’t precede disaster. In that case, I’m sorry in advance. I guess you could blame it on “daddy issues.”

1. Seriously, the amount of people that go missing in National Parks under suspicious or unnatural circumstances is uncanny. Plus, the forests are too big to monitor and, at least in Appalachia, there have been families inbred for generations. Who’s to say there aren’t feral, inbred colonies of people, completely detached from society, in our National Parks? It could definitely explain Bigfoot…

2. so they say…